Sunday, August 9, 2015

I Am Working On It, I Tell You!

My little book is 9/10 of being a reality. There. I've said it.

What about the other 1/10, you ask? Sigh.

In case you haven't noticed, I am not the most "techie" person around. Sure I can navigate my way around most programs and devices with deceptive ease. I can figure out documentation systems, and basically put my 2c whereever I can plug it in, but when it comes to html, zip, unzip, jpg, tif etc, I am clueless. Actually, it is more accurate to say that I just don't care about that kind of "stuff." It's much like legal jargon. Whatever.

Anyway, my attempts to self-publish have resulted in several headaches of the "techie" sort. After formatting, uploads, corrections, re-uploads, cursing, and proofing (not necessarily in that order), I have the non-virtual version of my little book ready to rumble. The virtual version...well, that's just sitting in it's own special barrel of pickled monkeys.

Someone please 'splain to me how the perfect spacing and font-sizing that appears in the non-virtual version, can get so royally screwed in the virtual version. Hmmm? Anyone? Yes, I am aware that the different screen sizes might make minor adjustments, but to take ONE section (and only ONE section), change the font size (New Times Roman 12 to New Times Roman 20ish) and recenter the text into a non-sensical mess DOES NOT COMPUTE, PEOPLE!

I tried to correct the mess. Following the instructions under the supervision of my techie-ish spouse, the html shows that all is perfection. No problemo. So...I upload again (6 times)...Now the one section font change has expanded to the next paragraph, which was perfect before the corrections.

So...Here I sit, waiting for a response from the help desk...twiddling my thumbs. Slowly going insane.

Stay tuned.



  1. Have you tried threatening to turn the system into a giant Programmable toaster or beating it with a bag of hammers. One or the other usually works for me.

  2. The response I received this morning says they can't replicate the issue. Everything looks dandy on their viewer, so it must be my viewer. I can live with that. Namely because all of my techie doo-dads and thingies are possessed by demons so I am used to seeing the weird stuff. My concern is if peeps download the ebook and get some weird in return. Maybe I can make that part og my "Brand".

  3. I'm so sorry, it is the suckiest part of the whole publishing thing, and I understand why some people pay an expert to do it. But I'm a cheap skate, so that will never happen.

  4. It was happy after I uploaded my word doc. It was the Kindle upload and conversion that screwed everything up.